pauline maccay

Papaya Soap, toy soldiers, Plaster, metal, found furniture, acrylic, Dimensions vary.

Beauty and the Bleach is an installation that brings to light the cultural craze over papaya soap among Filipinos. Papaya soap is a common skin bleaching soap sold throughout Asia. Growing up, I was often encouraged to use papaya soap and I bathed in it without really questioning why. Having fair skin is a normalized standard of beauty in Filipino culture. There is a stigma that dark skin bears in Filipino culture that sadly still exists today.

This project calls to attention an overlooked side effect of colonization, the issue of Colorism a, "discriminatory treatment of individuals falling within the same 'racial' group on the basis of skin color".

I approached this work by taking all of the Papaya Bleaching soap that was being sent to me to use over the years from the Philippines and I melted it and used it to coat the top layer of the Papaya sculpture. Melting the soap released negative emotions of being ashamed of my own brown skin. Through this process, I was able to embrace and be proud of the color of my skin.

Plexiglass, ink, wood, 21’ x 21'‘x 17'‘

"Yea. so much of life is about timing
actually, the argument could be made that life, is submersed in time and thus timing is everything...
but it is important not to be too aware of the measurement of time, time as a metric. But rather, experience one's life as a chain of events that flow from one to another, there is an inherent rhythm to it, if you act in accordance to that pulse, I suspect timing will not be something to strive for but rather a matter of ambient environment, much like the pace of a beautiful conversation or jazz improv, or free flow, that moment when you’re not 'thinking' analyzing the words, notes coming out of you but simply letting them through feeling." -Eric Miranda

How Forests Think: Singularity is Near, 2018. Paper, wire, masking tape, acrylic, mylar, projection, Dimensions vary.

A Pueblo Indian Prayer

Hold on to what is good,

even if it's a handful of earth.

Hold on to what you believe,

even if it's a tree that stands by itself.

Hold on to what you must do,

even if it's a long way from here.

Hold on to your life,

even if it's easier to let go.

Hold on to my hand,

even if I've gone away from you.

Nancy C. Wood, “Many winters: Prose and Poetry of the Pueblos. Doubleday, 1974.

Sheet metal, plywood. 60" x 5" x 36"

Wood, plaster, packaging tape. 6" x 36" x 36"

In memory of Eric Miranda, Mama Vita, Dennis Gwinn, Brodie GIles 

"Nothing is more creative than death, since it is the whole secret of life. It means that the past must be abandoned, that the unknown cannot be avoided, that 'I' cannot continue, and that nothing can be ultimately fixed. When a man knows this, he lives for the first time in his life. By holding his breath, he loses it. By letting go he finds it."

-Alan Watts

Packaging tape, LED lights, plaster. Dimensions vary. 

"The cyborg does not dream of community on the model of the organic family, this time without the oedipal project. The cyborg would not recognize the Garden of Eden; it is not made of mud and cannot dream of returning to dust."

-Donna J. Haraway

What does it mean to breakdown of boundaries between human and animal, animal-human and machine, and physical and non-physical?

Packaging tape and LED lights, dimensions vary.

Discovering my fiancé’s lifeless body was one of the most excruciatingly painful experiences of my life. During my grief, it felt as if an aggressor inside my head took over and held me under siege. This piece tells a story about the battle inside my head between part of myself that held on to life and the other that wanted to let go. It illustrates a power struggle between me and my inner demons. The aggressor inside my brain made it nearly impossible for me to escape the darkness I was in, but through that experience, I found the light, the author, my true self.

I approached this work by making casts of myself out of tape. The experience of cutting myself out of the tape that I was wrapped in was very cathartic; it was like a shedding of skin, a form of healing and release. In the process, I realized I am the authority of my experience and I have the authority to be my own heroine.

Packaging tape, LED lights. Dimensions vary.

Ceramic. 28” x 23”x 11”

Ceramic. 16” x 21”x 9”

Ceramic. 12” x 6”x 9”

Ceramic.  16” x 18”x 13”